Yngblkbxr's blog

Hi, thanks for your transparency! I am an older guy who has been through two marriages, to women, and all of time attracted to wrestlers and boxers as well. I would strongly recommend being upfront about your desires if you pursue a serious, committed relationship. If that discussion is a "deal breaker," so be it. It might help to set boundaries if, let's say, oral or anal penetration is unacceptable to either or both of you. My wife and I have done that for years now and it helps. She recognizes my needs and I respect the boundaries we have set. I wish that I had been upfront in my first marriage but religious and family obligations complicated things. That relationship, both with my wife and our church, ended unhappily (and not solely my fault). I hope that you are able to avoid all of that kind of drama. Blessings on you man! I am here if you need to chat. Deano

I'm 29 and have only dated women up until this point in my life whilst being also attracted to men, especially boxing men. You don't have to go the route I did because ultimately it's a relationship you have with yourself that matters most and how you choose to interact with people you're attracted to. I decided to embrace having an open sexual preference a few years ago, but I still felt almost this sense of embarrassment about being attracted to boxing. It's weird too cause I'm the total opposite of competitive. I worked out with my friends during football training in high school but didn't actually play because I wasn't comfortable with contact sports like that. But since I was a pre-teen I'd always been fascinated and turned on by boxing. Unfortunately, keeping it a secret got me in trouble with partners because it turned into an unhealthy relationship with consuming erotic boxing content.

Me joining Meet fighters earlier this year was actually brought about by a desire to no longer hide it or feel shame/embarrassment for what I'm into. My current partner knows what I'm into. I've even shown them my profile. We happen to be non-monogamous so they're also Kool with me having meet ups with the potential for erotic play. Being honest with myself and my partner has even made me enjoy boxing more to the point where I use it for working out in a general sense, and I'm learning legitimate boxing skills.

Now, I'm fortunate to have understanding people in my life. It took a lot of shaving off the unneeded people from my life, and my circle is pretty small. But being able to be open and honest about who I am, what I'm attracted to, and what I'm into has taken a HUGE weight off my shoulders. Keep figuring things out for yourself, but the most important thing from my perspective is to never lie. To yourself, or the people you're around. The truth may be uncomfortable at first, but when they say the truth sets you free, that phrase couldn't possibly be more true. And living your truth is attractive to people who will want to get to know the real you. There's a lot of attractive haters and attractive fakers out there. For me, being open about my sexuality and my interests has lead me to meeting lots of people who are attractive both inward and out. But more importantly, I'm confident now. Took a lot of figuring things out first though, so it's ok to be confused right now. It's growth is all.

I really appreciate your honesty! Thanks for the advice!

Agonophilia is something many of us on MF can relate to. Communication is key. Talking about your attractions, kinks, turn one/offs is important. Romantic attraction is different. Some can compartmentalize sex from love. You are who you are and feel what you feel. Nothing wrong or weird or strange. Be your authentic self

I've been through the same journey. Except in my case it was wrestlers, not boxers. But I was still attracted to women. And I still am, so it turns out I'm bi-sexual although it took me years to figure that out. In fact, it wasn't until I had a bi-sexual girlfriend that I was finally able to work things out for myself (and without fear of being judged by her). Since them I've been in a number of mixed and same sex relationships and am now actually happily married to a man - and have been for 16 years. He knows I'm bi-sexual and that's never been an issue in our relationship.

It's a difficult path to navigate, simply because every one and every relationship is different. Not to mention local and family culture. But my position has always been to be upfront from the outset and whist that didn't always work out well for the relationship (I can't count the number of times I was 'friend-zoned'), ultimately I think it was always the right choice.

I'll say this much in answer to your question: having a partner who knows this part of you exists and isn't threatened or bothered by it will be important. Especially as you grow older and experience things. If this is important to you, then it should definitely be something you're upfront about if you're getting serious with someone. From my observation, not being honest about it causes far more problems than being honest and open about it ever will.

And people are a bit more understanding about that these days.

Thanks for this! I appreciate your honesty and I hope you’re right. But I just feel like it’ll be awkward to talk about.

It will be at first, but you'll get better with practice.